Этот пост нужно обязательно сохранить ))))

[Reu_Tei]

(Чтобы он не потерялся в недрах лайков и реблогов).
Потому что это гениально

anonymous asked:

What has happened to Tom? I used to think he was cute, charming, dorky but ever since the Much Ado About Nothing event he is the definition of hotness. And I don't think it is only the white shirt and black pants-effect. Something has changed. He did put on some (muscle) weight. But he appears calmer (?, can't find a better word in English, sorry) too? Has anyone else made this observation?

thingsididntknowwereerotic answered:

*adjusts glasses

*leans on podium

The West European Hiddles possesses a rare but devastating personal quality known as Latent Hotness (LH). Latent Hotness operates much in the same way as the glowing lure device of the deep-sea anglerfish. It attracts its prey by appearing harmless. “Oh,” says the unsuspecting victim, “this isn’t alarming at all. He is cute, and he likes Shakespeare. I like Shakespeare, too! And he has such a nice sense of humor. And oh! So kind.” Thus the victim is lured deeper into the depths of the cold, salty ocean, midnight blue and full of lurking danger yet unseen.

The prey approaches more closely, marveling at the bizarre and senseless actions of those around her. “How silly these girls are!” says the victim. “He’s not that hot. He’s nice enough, but there are many men hotter than he is.”

And then, at the critical moment, the Latent Hotness takes effect. The victim can see clearly now, at this close distance, that it is not the light of a reassuring sun that dangles from the head of the undersea beast, but rather a bright, greenish, glowing lure. The victim is simultaneously charmed and incapacitated, and then the Hiddles moves in for the kill. At this point, his prey is already partially anesthetized by his literary knowledge, linguistic facility, Henry V hair, and general magnetism. But then the Hiddles dials up his attack by one degree — a growled innuendo, a whisper, a sultry poem delivered in breathy verse, a wink, a stubbly goatee, a swirl of golden curls and a seersucker suit, or one hundred and twenty seconds of teasing a muppet with a plate of baked goods.

At that point, the prey is taken, and can only fangirl. The thrall is too powerful; literally no one escapes. Men, women, the elderly… no one gets away. In this way, the Hiddleston family will come to rule the earth, because Tom and his family (immune to the devastation of his sexual charm) are the only ones who will still maintain their full sensory and intellectual capacity. The rest of us will be lurching about, drooling, and watching YouTube videos seventeen hours a day.

So, to answer your question more directly, dear Anon, nothing actually happened to Tom. Instead, the Easter Egg of Sexual Doom that he implanted in your brain the day you first saw him has finally broken open, spilling its contents all over your formerly functioning brain. Get ready to asdskaljhgfjkaghf, burn toast, and spend hours doing nothing but sighing and blinking your eyes slowly as he brings the fragrant cookie to his lips, then — no! not yet — pulls it back again, the curl of a knowing smile (the hallmark of the LH carrier) teasing at the corner of his lips.

There is no cure. The only thing you can do is look around and realize you are not the only ‘stoner lurching forward toward the light.

xx



©

@темы: хиддлз

Comments

[Лирохвост]

даблин, совершенно прекрасно XDDD

[Reu_Tei]

Лирохвост, и головной фонарь в конце для наглядности )))))

[Sapfira23]

Reu_Tei, пошла реблогнула))

[Reu_Tei]

Sapfira23, ты из лагеря солидарных? )))) Я-то нет, меня к фонарю ещё не притянуло ))) Но я понимаю и сочувствую пропавшим

[Sapfira23]

Reu_Tei, я тупо ребложу

[Reu_Tei]

Sapfira23, тогда понятно, почему ты то сердечко получила

[Sapfira23]

Reu_Tei, я так и знала, что ты это скажешь